Women’s Studies Ch. 03

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During the drive back to my dorm, my new home, I couldn’t help but smile every time I looked down at the small note in my lap.

‘If it feels good, do it.’

June 2013

Written in my sister’s cute, familiar hand, it reminded me of how far I had come since she had first told me those words. It was after my first night as Lexi, and I was confused, and a little scared and unsure about how exactly I had let myself get into this situation. Shortly after that I had lost my virginity to her, a beautiful goddess of sexuality and violence. That last part wasn’t a bad thing.

It also reminded me not to forget to live my life. It rang in my ears like a battle cry for the unsure and afraid, the shy and the outcast. It was a reminder of when my life truly began and who had shown me the way.

I arrived back at my dorm just after noon, just in time to make my first walk of shame. I looked like a mess. My hair was doing its own thing in different directions, my makeup and eye shadow smeared irreparably, and my lipstick was a joke. I really should have just stripped it all off this morning, but in trying to fix it I had wasted the time available to do so.

I felt like I might have just made a reputation for myself as I noticed that more students had arrived to move in the day before classes started. There was no shortage of people to see my walk. I got a few snotty looks, but mostly they were the looks of women who had been there before, and found it amusing to not be the one in my shoes for a change.

Reaching my dorm unit, I received a nice little round of applause from Kennedy, Skylar and a couple other girls. I gave them a wave, a blush, and a bow. I figured that this wouldn’t be the last time that something like this happened and I might as well handle it with a little grace. It might have been a bit of my old guy persona coming to my rescue, but I felt a little proud to have my peers know of my sexual conquest.

Even with that small measure of pride, embarrassment was still pouring through and I made a hasty withdrawal to my room. It was blessedly empty, and I started to gather my stuff to take a shower. Abigail must have been out. Did she have a late night as well? I thought. Hearing the door, I called out “Did you have a good night, Abigail?”

“Not as good as you I’m sure,” That was not Abigail. I spun quickly, hoping to put a face to that slightly familiar voice. It was Kennedy.

“Oh, yeah…I kind of got carried away last night, didn’t I?” I said, hoping she would take it as an admission of a bi curious or lesbian romp.

“I know! Miss June. I’m so jealous!” she said, sending a shock through my system. “Yeah, it took me a few to put it together.”

After a rather long pause where I stood stunned and speechless, I open my mouth to begin damage control ASAP.

“I know who you are too…Alex,” Kennedy continued before I could even begin lying my ass off.

Have you ever had a situation that seemed completely under control, and within ten seconds it disintegrated into a cluster-fuck, sliding down hill at an increasingly rapid pace? Well, I was there. I felt like I was trapped inside my mind watching things fall apart, all the while I was mentally slamming myself into the walls inside my head, trying to escape, to get my body to move, anything.

After what felt like an eternity of standing there like a deer in headlights, I was finally able to move again. Instinct took over, and I began quickly packing my shit to get out of town. I sure as hell couldn’t go home, my mom was sure to find out about this, and she would be just thrilled. A daughter that became a porn star, and a son that became a daughter…Yeah, she was going to love this. But where was I going to go? I was in full blown panic mode. Get your shit into the car first and then figure it out on the move, idiot.

All this work for nothing it seemed. All this preparation and some lesbian porn-addict outs me because she recognized my sister. No, this was not for nothing. I thought, thinking about all of the amazing things that seemed to start happening the moment I had become Lexi. Maybe I could go to California, I hear it’s nice there. My mind was like a meth head, set to eleven and getting nowhere.

It took me a few seconds to realize that Kennedy was trying to talk to me. “Lexi…Lexi…FOR FUCKS SAKE, LEXI!”

Turning from stuffing my shit into bags, “What?” I asked, unable to keep an edge of panic from my voice.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Getting the fuck out of here!” I said. “What does it look like?”

“What? Why?” she asked, her voice oddly tinged with a ring of confusion.

“Let’s see. You know about me. This is an all-girls school. I’m trying to beat the cops or reporters out of here,” I said. “Take your pick.”

“I didn’t tell anyone,” she said quietly. “I’m not going to.”

“Why?” I asked, caught completely off guard.

“I’m not really sure,” she said honestly. “I guess you just seem pretty cool. Besides, from the bruises Audrey istanbul travesti left on you I really don’t think it would be wise to piss her off,” she said gesturing to the bite marks on my shoulder. “If she did that to someone she likes, I’d hate to see what she would do to an enemy.”

I stopped my packing and stared at her for a while. This was a surprising turn of events. I didn’t know if I could trust her. A big part of me really wanted to. I had worked so hard for this, and I didn’t want it to end so soon after it started. During my quiet deliberation, Abigail came in and helped to decide matters.

“Did you have a good ni…What happened to your stuff?” Abigail asked looking from me to Kennedy.

“The silly girl forgot to pack her vibrator,” Kennedy said giving me a wink. “It’s going to be one long year without it,” she chimed.

I’m not sure if Abigail bought it, but she gave a shrug and went about her business. Kennedy gave me another long look before saying, “You should clean yourself up and meet me at Danny’s Fish and Chips.” She looked at me for another moment, and then gave a quick satisfied nod before leaving.

Well maybe there was hope. She could have ruined me right there, and she even went out of her way to cover for me. Catching a look at myself in my small stand mirror, I remembered what a mess I looked like. I grabbed a change of clothes, a towel, and my toiletry bag. I needed a shower.

The shower room was rather large. Every surface was covered in sea foam green tile and there was a large open area in the middle with shower heads lined in rows. Two girls were standing in the open space completely naked, having a conversation together as they lathered soap over their naked bodies. I was getting ready to panic before I noticed that the outer edge of the room was lined with shower stalls for privacy. Thank God. My back up plan had been to join a gym and go there as Alex every night to use their showers before coming back to the dorms. It would have been inconvenient, but it would have been safe.

I picked a stall out of the way, making sure to lock the door when I was inside. I set my stuff on a shelf out of the way of the water and got to work. I was completely methodical, and masturbating didn’t even cross my mind. I quickly finished, and after drying I slipped on my underwear and a casual white summer dress. Making sure everything was where it should be, I stepped out and went back to my room.

There were people roaming the halls, and no one was screaming or pointing at me, so it seemed as if Kennedy had been true to her word. Back in my room, I made quick work of my makeup and hair before heading out. I needed to figure this out with Kennedy, and I didn’t want her to think that I wasn’t going to show.

*** *** ***

I made good time and found Kennedy in a booth in the back. Most of the tables and booths were empty, but that would definitely change in an hour or so for the dinner rush. I slid into the booth across from her and waited for her to start.

“So,” she said.

“So,” I replied.

“I really didn’t mean to freak you out when I told you that I knew…you know,” she said looking around. “I just got carried away for some reason. Maybe it was because I had met someone famous that I actually wanted to meet…” she trailed off. “I really could have handled that better.”

“How did you find out?” I asked. I thought I had been so careful, and if I screwed up somehow, I needed to know.

“Well I knew who Audrey was. And you called her Dreya, which I’m assuming she picked because it has almost the exact letters as her real name,” she began. “Then I found a Dreya Allen on Facebook that had a picture of her and you…but as a guy, and she had tagged you in the picture.”

My Facebook page. I got made by a simple Facebook search. “Looks like I need to delete that,” I said. “Who are you, Nancy Drew?”

“No,” she said laughed. “I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find someone and I’ve learned some things.”

“Who were you trying to find?” I asked, curious.

“My dad,” she said bluntly. “All I know is that he got my mom pregnant in the summer of ’98, he’s pretty wealthy, and potentially an important person.”

“Oh…um…wow!” I said, not knowing exactly how to respond to that.

“He set up a blind trust to support my mom and I until I turned 18. Child support, I guess,” she said. “And after I finish college, I get access to a two million dollar trust fund.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of money,” I said

“Yeah. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t even be here. I got accepted to USC,” she said. “I could be on a beach right now, but I had to come here, or I wouldn’t get the money.”

“Why here though?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out,” she said, sounding determined. “I hit a dead end trying to find my dad a while ago, but if he is willing to leverage me here with two million dollars, there has to be a reason. He was really careful hiding his tracks everywhere anadolu yakası travestileri else, so this is the last thing I have.”

“Can’t you just ask your mom?” I asked.

“Been there, tried that,” she said. “She’s honed her avoidance skills into an art form.”

“Well if you need some help, let me know,” I offered. “I don’t know much about finding lost parents, but I’m sure I could do something.”

“Thanks,” Kennedy said.

Just then a server came by and took our orders. We made some casual small talk while we waited for our food and drinks, not wanting to be interrupted or overheard. It was mostly about Mayweather and our dormmates. When our food arrived, we immediately dug in. While we ate, the silence stretched out and I found myself realizing that I had completely forgotten why I had come here. I had just become so swept up in her problems that mine seemed to have disappeared.

“So, when did you start dressing like this?” Kennedy asked, taking a sip of her drink.

“Two weeks ago,” I said, deciding to go with honesty.

“Wow! Only two weeks?” she said surprised. “You pull it off so well. Wait, how did you even get accepted here?”

“Well, that’s a long story,” I said. I proceeded to tell her about the mix up with my name, and how Audrey and I were blindsided after we had arrived. I told her everything. I figured she already knew about all of the bad parts, me being a guy, and also having sex with my own sister. I even told her how I felt as Lexi, how more complete I was. She giggled, and sighed, and made all the other appropriate responses during my recital of the last couple weeks. It was really nice to share this with someone, especially someone who didn’t seem to be judging me.

“So, I started out pretending to be Lexi just to go to college, and now I feel like I actually am Lexi, if that makes any sense,” I finished. “When I thought you were going to out me, I was going to run. I didn’t know where, but in every scenario, in every destination, I saw myself as Lexi.”

It felt strange admitting that out loud, especially to a stranger. I wasn’t even sure if the words were true until they were out of my mouth. The moment I said it, I felt a weight lift, and a flutter in my chest. I guess I really was Lexi.

“Wow, that sounds like something out of a story,” she said, clearly impressed with my little adventure.

“So, I’ve gotta ask, what’s your affiliation? What team do you play for?” Kennedy asked, smiling. Just like that, it seemed like we were just two girls talking sex stuff.

“Well, you may have guessed from the little incident behind the club, but I play for the girls’ team,” I said, blushing a little. “It’s weird right? I’m a guy dressed like a girl who wants to sleep with women.”

“Yeah,” Kennedy chuckled. “It kind of reminds me of something you would see on Jerry Springer, Man gets sex change to become lesbian.”

“Except without the sex change part,” I clarified. “I couldn’t do that to my star player.”

“So, what team are you playing for?” I asked figuring turnabout was fair.

“Both, I guess. I’m leaning towards women right now. I had a couple bad experiences with guys, both in and out of the bedroom,” she answered, completely comfortable with the conversation. “Girls do lack a little something extra, but they never leave the job unfinished.”

Is she flirting with me? I thought. She had her head cocked to the side with a little grin curling her lips, and her steel-like gray eyes seemed to penetrate deep into my mind. My, but she was beautiful. Her thick mane of long auburn-red hair framed her model-esc face, with a perfect but wild look that must have taken no small amount of time to produce. I couldn’t help but follow her hair down to her impressive cleavage. Her black spaghetti strap top had her breasts in a strangle hold, pressing them together for my viewing pleasure. Speaking of pleasure, she was provoking a pleasant response in me.

“So how exactly did the whole thing with your sister start?” Kennedy asked, interrupting my appraisal of her.

“I think it had a lot to do with me becoming Lexi,” I explained. “I think there was some serious identity confusion for the both of us when I started playing the role. That, and the fact that I’ve had an unhealthy crush on her even before she started doing porn,” I admitted. “That part of her life just made it easier to perv on her,” I laughed. “It was nothing I ever would have acted on before, but as Lexi it just made it easier,” I added. Now I was thinking about my hot sister and Kennedy, and I started to squirm in my seat, feeling the on-setting discomfort brought on by my impending erection.

“I don’t have any siblings myself, so I don’t have any experience in that area, but it is a little weird to me,” Kennedy said carefully. “But if she was my sister, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself either.”

“She is pretty amazing, right?” I said, feeling relieved that, despite my istanbul travesti whole fucked up situation, she still didn’t see me as some sort of freak.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten off to her,” Kennedy said. “One of my boyfriends had her Playboy issue tucked in between his mattress, and one day when he left me alone in his room to go help his dad with something, I found it. I was snooping, and when I started looking through it, I found her spread and I was in love. I didn’t exactly have a bi side before that, but she made me a believer,” Kennedy said, blushing as she told me all about her long-time crush on my sister. “So, I stole the magazine, and put it in my bag. I frigged myself silly to her all through high school. I still have the magazine too. It’s up in my room actually.”

The faces and little sounds she made while she described her one-sided relationship with my sister were completely erotic. She clearly had some fantastic memories locked away in her head. Hearing her talk about pleasuring herself brought my pain to a new level and I shifted myself to the side, easing my erection from its tucked position. I instantly solidified to full rigidity.

I placed my hand over my dress to prevent my cock from tenting it, and it took great effort not to grasp or rub it. The soft fabric of my dress was torture enough, and the last thing I wanted was to ruin my dress or end up spraying Kennedy underneath the table. Friends don’t cum on friends in public. Then thinking back to some of my times with Audrey I amended, well at least not without warning.

“Well, the next time she comes to visit I’ll have her sign it for you,” I said, like a mother teasing her daughter about a crush.

“Thanks,” she said looking down and blushing like fire. She definitely caught my little jibe at her.

With our food and drinks done, Kennedy started making ready to leave. “We should probably head back. I still have a lot of stuff to unpack,” she said, sliding out of the booth.

I couldn’t move. I was glued to that seat, and nothing could move me. I still had a raging erection from all of those visuals, courtesy of Kennedy. Even If I tucked it into my waist band it would leave a noticeable lump in my dress. Unlike my red one, this one didn’t flair out at the waist, leaving zero room for hiding things such as erect penises.

“Are you coming?” Kennedy said, pausing.

“I can’t,” I said, avoiding her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “I promised that I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I won’t.”

“Uh…it’s not that…It’s…I’ve got a little problem,” I finished, fully embarrassed now.

“What…OH!” she said understanding. “Here, switch me purses,” She handed me her large black bag. “Do what you can, and just hold that over yourself until we get out of here.”

I accepted her bag gratefully and set it on my lap. Discreetly fishing underneath my dress, I secured my aching cock into my waist band, angling it to the side. Making sure the purse was completely covering the evidence of my perversion, I slid out of the booth and followed Kennedy outside. She seemed to be taking extra care in standing just in front of me for a little extra security. Once outside she led me to her sapphire-blue BMW M2 and had me get in.

“We can sit here and relax while we wait for your situation to resolve itself,” Kennedy said, turning on the radio.

It was a little cute how we were both avoiding saying that I had a magnificent erection hidden underneath my dress. We had been listening to music for a while and I hadn’t put a dent in my problem.

“Any progress?” Kennedy asked.

“No, it’s not going anywhere,” I said, laughing at how funny our situation was. I missed Audrey; we would have been well on our way to fixing this problem already.

“Do you think you need to maybe…you know?” she asked, making an awkward jerking motion.

“Um…no, I think it’ll be all right,” I said blushing, not believing a word of what I had said.

“Are you sure? Because I don’t mind,” Kennedy asserted, staring straight out the front windshield.

“Is this your way of asking if I’ll masturbate for you?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“Maybe,” Kennedy said, turning to look at me. She had an almost indiscernible smile on her face as she stared me dead in the eyes. She held my gaze for a few seconds before her eyes dropped down to where my erection was hidden.

This just took a turn into a direction out of left field. I had meant it as a joke, but she seemed serious. She had a look in her eyes that reminded me of my sister when she was working herself up into a frenzy.

Here goes, I thought. Keeping my eyes on Kennedy, I spread my legs and gripped the hem of my dress. Slowly bunching it up, I worked it up towards my waist. Kennedy’s lips slowly parted as I worked the dress up my legs, and right before I reached my panties, I saw her lean forward a hair in anticipation. I knew she wasn’t joking with me now. She really wanted to see me.

Finally revealing my soft-pink lace panties, she could see my cock rebelling against the fabric. I still hadn’t taken my eyes off of her, but I knew what she was seeing, my erection not even fully contained by the flimsy material, all seven inches of veiny, throbbing meat. I continued to pull up my dress further showing off my smooth and toned tummy.

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